Lofty prose and extended extrapolation can often be misconstrued simply as intellectual self-stimulation. The Cynic deems it appropriate to fervently disagree with this shameful conclusion, and berates any would-be parties willing to go so far as to endorse and even propagate it.
Such a monstrous denial would forever tarnish the divine landscape wherein it germinates, sporing the vacuity and impotence which will eventually seed the new world of consistent literary ambiguity. This plague of doubt, deconstruction and dissolution must be prevented, and the only way to triumph will be to barrage the surrounding countryside with wave after wave of effluent pontification and expostulation.
The Cynic has thus divined that the detractors of embellishment and general floridity shall be cast into the empty, colourless, odourless and senseless pit of inanity from whence they were begotten, to be forever assaulted with blatant mediocrity.
(NB: two instances after having posted the above, The Compassionate Cynic had to duck out the back for a private moment. He has not been heard from since.)
The Compassionate Cynic posits this thought experiment:
A female violinist, having suffered her share of being bumped about by the ominous Classical Music Industry is forced out onto the streets to become a busker.
Whilst applying her virtuostic talents a male bystander flicks a ten dollar note into her case, leans close to her and whispers "Only because you're beautiful".
Possible conclusions can be drawn from this scenario:
1. The man is incapable of appreciating all forms of beauty.
2. The musical talent of the violinist is in question.
3. Busking is more profitable with good looks.
4. A value can be placed on any aesthetic endeavor.
5. The man is a sexist pig.
6. The man is a passionate philanthropist.
7. The violinist receives a boost in self-confidence
8. The violinist is mortally offended
The Compassionate Cynic seeks more conclusions to add to his database. Please donate your conclusions.
"Essay on Human History"
from the research and writings of Hi'amlin Praaschken, noted Zebulan exobioanthropologist and creative thinker.
(time-dilation decoded and translated into English by The Compassionate Cynic, with introduction and glossary by The Compassionate Cynic)
Introduction
The author of this text, whose name can be roughly put into Latin script as Hi'amlin Praaschken, is a being whom I encountered one day quite by chance. My experience of this being is incapable of being described by any literary means. Perhaps it could be expressed as a melody, or even as the movement of the bowels of a gerbil. Of course, this is how it seemed to me. Hi'amlin is an entity that cannot be witnessed wholly by any species without the correct capacity to do so. I myself could understand only enough of him to determine that the Zebulans were one of the many essence consciousnesses that infrequently and inexplicably permeate my habitat. The etymology of the word Zebulan arises from my interpretation of some of Hi'amlin's linguistics. He indicated that Zebulan is merely the collection of symbols used by him to describe any entity inhabiting his realm. I told him that as a proper noun it was quite unoriginal. I then received what appeared to be a synthetic wave of jumbled symbology.
Having undertaken the arduous task of comprehending this data I have compiled a series of notes which I believe accurately reflect the author's intentions. However, being the entity that he is, it is often impossible to distinguish between Hi'amlin's meticulous prose and his character. Hence some of his sentences appear elongated, and some concepts require reiteration. It must be noted that there are many descriptions in his work that imply similar concepts. These concepts have been defined in this translation as variants on the notion of 'systems'. There are many 'systems' apparent in this work and care should be taken to view them in the correct context when attempting to decipher the following, presented in two parts and beginning with an abstract.
Our failings are Hi'amlin's failings and his are in turn ours. He should not be seen as a knower, but rather a compiler and translator of knowledge. So it is with respect that the Compassionate Cynic accepts his humble input.
-CC
Abstract:
It so happened that into my possession came a memory unit. I had acquired it from a merchant with whom I do business regularly, fueled by my insatiable need for gathering information and piecing together coherent accounts of activities of any intelligent life I may come across. My merchant friend Abalind is a traveler, inspired by the noble goal of exploration as long as it is undertaken in order to enrich one's understanding of all that is. I myself subscribe to this practice, though my means are more passive and cerebral than Abalin's, though I believe that we both secretly admit that to understand each others' thoughts and experiences is crucial for sustaining our own individual process of exploration.
The project we are currently working on concerns an inhabited planet within a star system in Galaxy 1328-c. From examination of the plethora of fragmented data I have determined that the most active in thought production of the species on this planet
were those capable enough so that, through an intricate system of observation and creative thought came to call themselves 'homo sapien'. To illustrate the necessity to understand this obscure species I have compiled the following: an attempt at a summary of the mental states, actions and relationships exhibited by this species and also the ways in which reflection on these factors shaped their development.
The framework I have provided is partly based on our own assumptions and thoroughly debated hermeneutics. The current understanding in the field is that all biological organisms have motivation which stems from their design and function. This motivation has undergone a gradual exponential development as the organisms mutate and struggle to thrive in their contemporary environment. We accept this theory based on evidence from all other species in the universe, carbon based or other. We have observed that the tendency for intelligence arises when an organism develops enough complicated systems that control its internal material interrelationships for it to need one or several subsystems of matter whose own interrelationships lead the organism to experience a unitary awareness. This awareness has been classed as having many layers of operation but differentiating between these layers and their functions has been confounded by the discovery of yet more layers and sub-layers. Furthermore, this discovery has been disputed by various branches of our community who state that there can be no certain way to interpret these systems, for that would require an act of interpretation which would necessarily have to be initiated by these systems in the first place. Also, to add to the excruciating number of variables to be taken into consideration is the ability for the organism to communicate information and thus influence the sensibilities of other organisms with which it shares systemic compatibility.
So as not to confound myself and any readers with philosophical dilemmas and with the belief that knowledge and experience can often lead to truth, I am in the process of presenting a paper that outlines the development of Planet 3908213-G and its native species in the hope that their story reflects our own history and gives us some insight into the nature of a specific arrangement of matter's ability to create and process non-material symbols, and inversely the effect these symbols have on the organisms that created them.
Disclaimer: In this analysis I strive to be as objective as possible, in this instance 'objectivity' being my ability to put together all information available to me into a coherent chronological narrative. I apologise for any omission of fact and any unwarranted assumptions that are culturally biased. However, I attest that these assumptions are necessary so as to allow the reader to identify with this species and gain an overall sense of who and what they were.
END OF ABSTRACT
Stay tuned for Part 1!
So supposedly there's this guy Charlie Wilson, and he's a senator of some arbitrary state in the US way back in the rockin' 1980s. This 'review' (c) The Compassionate Cynic.
A so-called senator (Tom Hanks) manages to engage recreationally in global policy and maintain his professional philandering in a fantasy world somewhere in the long-distant 20th century.
Accompanied by his sidekick, the disgruntled Recreational Spook (Philip Seymour Hoffman) they wage war on a fantasy enemy using fantasy taxpayer money with the rational justification that this seemed to be the right thing to do at the time.
Unfortunately for them they were unaware of the fantasy Menacing Ideology's propensity to self-destruct from within and thus thwart their juvenile idealism by causing massive fantasy socio-economic and ideological fallout all over the unsuspecting fantasy planet and its population. Ultimately, the fantasy is revealed to both characters and they relax, safe in this knowledge.
Could this shocking series of events have transpired in 'real life'?
The film asserts that it may well have, by subtly insinuating that the basis of it's plot lies in factual events.
However, The Cynic recently partook in the viewing of a BBC documentary that informed him in an authoritative British accent that events took place a little differently, making no mention of a Charlie Wilson...
But wait! Of course in the film the senator functions Covertly! Obviously, this is a masterful obfuscation of fact by literary means. Writer Aaron Sorkin is known for his left-wing television lunacy (The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip), and doubtless could not reject the opportunity to wave his long left finger at the corruption that seems eternally inherent in right-wing politics (a statement which, of course, cannot be disputed).
As much of a fairy tale as it potentially is, 'Charlie Wilson's War' manages to pull off some impressive social commentary, and as coherent as it's no doubt heart-warming message is, it enabled The Compassionate Cynic to feel both compassion and cynicism, as is the norm.
To Conclude:
Whether or not the meta-irony regarding truth and distortion of facts was intentional, this film receives the coveted Quantum Thumb State* rating.
*whereby the thumb is in both 'up' and 'down' thumb-states simultaneously.
"Hmmm..." mused The Compassionate Cynic, ironically referring to himself in the third person.
After stopping for a moment to ponder pondering itself, he crawled out of his habitat and began to think about devising a possible framework in order to determine a viable way to meaningfully explore the nature of meaning.
"If we assume that we can understand what it is means to understand, then to have meaning we must assume that we understand what meaning is."
These were his first thoughts, in whose wake followed many more like it until he decided to look up 'post-structural semantics' on Wikipedia. Having found no useful information pertaining to his initial query, he retired to his habitat to continue to exist as pure essence.
Or did he?
Owing to an inevitable power failure caused by unpaid electricity bills, the projector running the cue-screen in the unmanned TV studio abruptly flickered off, but not after making a few clicking sounds, moaning and muttering "frikken' finally", the way cue-screen projectors have a habit of doing when there aren't any members of the genus homo present.
The Compassionate Cynic, oozing out of the ventilator shaft above the desolate set blinked quietly before dribbling through the office carpet, down multiple levels of steel reinforced concrete and into the unspeakable underworld of intellectual obscurity, misapplied wisdom and self-confounding logic.
It seemed that all was lost. The glory of public nation-wide prefrontal cortex stimulation and general shameless political punditry had been taken away from him forever.
In a raging cathartic shudder he unburdened himself of all worldy desire, and lived out the rest of his life alone in a cave in a large mountain.
Fortunately, owing to his ability to asexually reproduce, The Compassionate Cynic offloaded unto the world a squirming batch of cynical offspring, who then unloaded another batch, followed by another. Sadly each and every one of them bar one shriveled up due to early-onset solipsistic fibrosis owing to the unfortunate Mendelian legacy provided by Cynic Senior.
And so The Compassionate Cynic of the Present was born. He had inherited his ancestor's incisive perceptiveness but had developed his own brand of communication. Using it, he would strive to confuse, confound and convince with a crusade consisting of creativity, collation and concentration of core concepts... hopefully without sounding like a ninny.
The writings of The Compassionate Cynic henceforth are reproduced here.
(In an empty television studio, a lone cue-screen displays these words for what could be the first, or perhaps the last time):
IN A WORLD GORGING ITSELF WHILST GASPING AND CHOKING ON BANALITY AND FRIVOLITY
ONE FORCE DARES TO ARISE TO COMBAT THE IMPENDING AESTHETIC APOCALYPSE!
YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF ALL SOCIO-ECONOMIC DENOMINATIONS
IT'S...
THE COMPASSIONATE CYNIC!
(pause, cue apprehensive music)
HE WILL SEEK OUT AND DESTROY ALL MINDLESS DRIVEL WHICH PERMEATES SOCIETY!
HE WILL AVENGE THE DEVASTATING LEGACY OF NEGATIVE IDEOLOGIES!
HE WILL DEFEND INTEGRITY TO THE LAST KEYSTROKE,
AND VANQUISH THE WRETCHED FOES OF GOOD TASTE AND SINCERITY!
(pause, cue bombastic theme music)...
Adam 7
Comments (2)
Add Comments